A Crime to Fall in Love
by Tanesha
Summary: Snape song fic, very angst-ridden. Some guy on guy action implied, also mentioned violence and language.


 SEQ CHAPTER \h \r 1The song is Insensitive by Jann Arden and the world and characters are property of J.K. Rowling.

No idea what the time period for this is, I don't really think it matters. Not sure about the title either. Please R&R.

************************************************************************

**A Crime to Fall in Love__**

_How do you cool your lips   
after a summer's kiss   
how do you rid the sweat   
after the body bliss   
How do you turn your eyes   
from the romantic glare   
how do you block the sound   
of a voice you'd know anywhere _

I could hear her calling after me, but I kept walking. I recognized the hurt and the anxiety in her voice and part of me wanted to stop and wait for her, but the other part, the one I listen to most often, said to keep walking. It told me that if I stopped, if I waited for her to come and talk to me, I would only have to hurt her more than I had the night before. 

I heard the sound of her heels hitting the marble floor of the hall as she ran to catch up to me and contemplated running myself, but I knew I wouldn't; it was better if I didn't acknowledge her at all. When she got up with me she slowed her pace to match mine and touched her hand to my arm. "Severous, please."

The pleading in her voice was like an icicle being thrust through my chest and her touch was a fire that threatened to consume my whole body. I was hit by the memory of her body pressed against mine, her lips frantically tasting every last inch of my flesh, and then lying next to her prepared to divulge my soul. 

_Oh, I really should have known   
by the time you drove me home   
by the vagueness in your eyes   
casual good-byes   
by the chill in your embrace   
the expression on your face   
that told me   
you might have some advice to give on how to be   
insensitive _

Lying next to her in bed that night I had all ready begun to realize my mistake and the next morning as we were walking back from the hotel in Hogsmeade I knew what I had to do. I walked her to her room and when she invited me in I allowed my usual expression of indifference to slide into place and politely declined her offer. __

There was an initial look of shock on her face and then as she recovered she asked if I would like to go for dinner the next weekend.

"Actually I'd prefer not to." My tone was as cool as ice.

She could only stare at me, shock and lack of understanding all over her face.

She might have started to cry then, but I don't know. I turned away from her and at my usual pace, fled back to my own room.

_How do you numb your skin   
after the warmest touch   
how do you slow your blood   
after the body rush   
how do you free your soul   
after you've found a friend   
how do you teach your heart   
it's a crime to fall in love again _

I turned on a cold shower and stripped down; the sting of the water droplets as they hit against my skin was torture compared to the night before. I picked up a bar of soap and began to scrub at every spot I remembered her touching, trying to wash away the memory of it at the same time. At some point the soap slipped from my hand and I fell to the shower floor. I cried harder than I had ever cried in my life. Harder than when Mother and Father had yelled at each other, than when Father had hit me or than when I had been humiliated by the Marauders. I cried even harder than the first time Lucius had caught me with someone else. 

I could picture Lucius doing what he had done then to her now and I was amazed at my own selfishness. "I would hate to be you, Sev, knowing that you caused this to be done to him." It seemed impossible to me that I could have done something so stupid a second time. 

"But it will be all right now," I told myself. I had ended it with her and there was no reason for him to ever know or be jealous.

_Oh, you probably won't remember me   
it's probably ancient history   
I'm one of the chosen few   
who went ahead and fell for you   
I'm out of vogue, I'm out of touch   
I fell too fast, I feel too much   
I thought that you might have   
some advice to give on how to be   
insensitive  
  
_

Now with her hand on my arm I was somehow forced to stop and look her in the eye. She was close to tears and the anguish in her heart was clearly displayed on her face. "Will you please talk to me? I don't understand..."

"You wouldn't, would you?" To hear myself say it was like hearing my father speaking through me and my tone had nothing to do with my true emotions.

"What?" The first tear ran down her cheek.

"I wouldn't expect some dumb cunt like you to understand anything, let alone how a man like myself could never settle for some two-bit..."

I never got a chance to finish; she hit me square in the jaw with a closed fist. It amazes me how quickly a woman can go from crying to screaming at you. "Fuck you Snape! I don't need this bullshit! Just forget I ever fucking existed for all I care."

As I watched her storm down the hall I thought of the burn marks covering my chest and back, put there by Lucius to make sure that I never would forget the lover who's name I refused to give him when he had smelled her on me.

************************************************************************

Originally I was going to write this from the point of view of the girl, but then I opted against it. Snape's pov is so much more interesting. The girl remains unnamed because of that last line (and because I couldn't think of anyone I wanted to use), and she could be either a teacher or a student, you chose.


End file.
